Fun Stuff — April 20, 2011 6:25 pm

The List: Elevator Talk


Here’s our list of 10 things you should never say out loud on an elevator.

We’ve all been on an elevator at some point in our lives, and chances are we’ve felt that classic moment of awkward elevator silence. Perhaps you’ve spent that time wondering if you should whistle along with the elevator music or start an impromptu conversation with a fellow rider—or maybe not. But just in case you can’t fight the urge to remain silent, we’ve compiled a list of the top-10 things not to say while you’re taking that short ride—unless you want the other passengers to madly try to pry open the doors.

10.  “You smell that?”
9.  “I have a bomb.”
8.  “I went to the doctor yesterday and you know what he found?” (Then say nothing else.)
7.   As the elevator descends, seductively say:  “That was good for me. Was it good for you?”
6.  “Man, I hope they fixed this elevator.”
5.  “Geesh, this rash really itches.”
4.   While maniacally laughing, say: “I was exposed to H1N1 yesterday.”
3.   Shout “Ding!” every time the doors open.
2.   While shaking your head, say, “I was so sure I got rid of all the lice!”
1.   Start reciting the top-10 things to do when elevator cables snap.




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